Sorry, I Caught Cityrail

... which explains my 3 month delay. Truly, I apologise, and I hope you my devoted two readers were well over the short break, and while you had to make do with twiddling your thumbs and playing with stationary to keep entertained, I am back (until I decide to move on again), to keep you excited and paralysed with extended sentences and off-beat punctuation. I call it postmodernism, however, others prefer wankery.

The HSC Trials drag on like Elton John on a good day, the boredom of three hours of mathematics the suede green dress, the economics paper - the sparkly gold tassles, all crowned by four hours of english, a glorious silver and ruby crown! It truly is a great day for residents of San Francisco! In a briefly serious moment, the words absolute genius strikes me as an understatement in describing my academic performance, in my opinion anyway.

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

It can't be that hard to be a bricklayer. Can it. Can it? Let me explain the situation - two houses up my road, a community orientated (note: sarcasm - it's hard to tell these days!) is converting what used to be 3 houses into a complex of 16 houses. The bricklayers have infuriated the neighbourhood by the very fact that they do not know the right side of the road. I know that as bricklayers, I cannot expect an IQ above ten, but if Kim Beazley can see over his vast expanse to drive on the right side of the road, then his children damn well better be able to do the same.

I for one have decided to erect (hehe) a 36 storey apartment block where my house stands, each apartment an expansive 1 x 1 metre, selling for an affordable $900 000 each. As the floors should each have about 18 apartments, they will be reached by flying carpet. For some unexplained reason, I believe that the council will really go for that idea. Anything for more money is approved faster than you can say "Kirstie Alley lost 25 kilos!" (although why anyone wants to say that is beyond me).

In conclusion, I am god. Or delusional. Or both.

Kylar