yuck, islanders

Today, at work, I read on the label of a new fruit drink:

• Contains ginseng, used by Native Americans in healing
• Contains guarana, used as a traditional Oriental medicine

People were buying this faster than you can laugh at Carl Scully, and if my job weren't threatened, I would have pointed out to these hapless consumers that:

• There is a reason that Native American medicine is not what you get when you walk into a pharmacy
• I haven't yet heard A Current Affair do a story on the wonders of traditional Oriental medicine.

I couldn't believe this product harp on and on like a broken Danoz Direct advertisement the natural health wonders that this drink will bestow upon its enlightened drinkers. I think not, my lovely Coles consumer; without wanting to sound like Naomi Robson, guarana isn't the nicest thing for you, and according to one disgruntled onlooker, contains about 10% starch. Tasty.

Now that I've expended with the community announcement (please don't sue me guarana-drink makers of the world), it may come as a surprise (or not to my three readers who just happen to also be my multiple personalities) that I am currently engorged in exams, Mathematics (no, not maths, for it is I, Kylar the pretentious!) still to come, along with English Extension! If you require advice on nineteenth century paradigms, especially regarding those of the Oxford Movement and Browning's thoughts on atheism, get in the god-damn line, haven't you heard of closing the god-damn door, god-dammit!

Kylar

PS: Nothing really, I've always wanted to have a post-script. This sentence is also in bold for no reason.